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No Fooling, April Showers are Here

March is going out on a wet note as April arrives in classic fable form. Tony blobs about the most famous of all showers.

What’s My Line?

There was a popular game show in the 1950s and 60s with stars the likes of Arlene Francis, Dorothy Kilgallen, Bennett Cerf and Kitty Carlisle. In Philly, my family used to watch it all the time.

Host Steve Allen would introduce each guest, 3 in all, with the following line; namely, “mystery guest will you enter and sign in please”. The guests had the job of trying to fool the star studded panel into thinking they had a particular career. Only one of the guests was the “Real McCoy” and the stars had to figure out who was fibbing and who was telling the truth.

There was a spirited Q & A between the stars and the guests and the banter was often memorably funny. In the end, only one guest would stand and admit he or she was for real.

If you are a Generation Xer, you would find TV in that golden era rather boring. The comedy was for the most part free of sexual innuendo though the laughs were all the more memorable. (Editor’s note: In my book, modern day TV “comedy” can’t hold a candle to the days of Jackie Gleason and the Honeymooners or Carol Burnett or Lucille Ball.)

With that as a backdrop, I offer my own version of “What’s My Line” as I try to April Fool you.

They are simply the most famous and at the same time notorious of all showers. They fall for only 30 days but are single-handedly credited with the beauty of our spring landscapes. They are often accompanied by gusty winds.

Without them, our aquifers would dry up and our fields would turn to dust. With them, our streams muddy up and our storm drains back up. Earth worms emerge from their winter hibernation as the ground thaws and warms.

But wait, there is a twist. While they fall mainly as rain, they also take the form of hail and even snow. In fact, they were responsible for the greatest snowstorm in our region of the 1980s (10-20 inches of wet snow).

They of course refer to APRIL SHOWERS and right on schedule they will arrive late tonight. By 5 AM, they will fill Marina’s 3D Doppler Radar scope but with a fast moving west edge about to swoop across the region.

Construction workers and landscapers, that west edge of the showers will be east of the Ohio and Big Sandy Rivers by 8 or 9 AM and thru Charleston by 10AM at the latest.

By afternoon, flower and shrub photosynthesis will be well underway as sunshine and a quickening westerly wind work in tandem to dry things out. After all April Showers do indeed bring May Flowers.

One final thought more soaking April Showers are in the forecast Thursday night into Friday and Sunday night into Monday. Oh yeah, April Snow Showers are possible next week!
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