PREPARING SIBLING FOR A NEW BABY

~ THE ANTICIPATION OF HAVING A NEW BABY IN THE FAMILY CAN CAUSE FEELINGS OF EXCITEMENT AS WELL AS ANXIETY. IF THERE ARE OTHER CHILDREN IN THE FAMILY, ONE CONCERN MOST PARENTS HAVE IS “HOW WILL THE REST OF THE FAMILY REACT TO A NEW BABY IN THE HOUSE?”

1. IMPORTANT THAT SIBLING BE INVOLVED IN THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE

2. WILL NEED TO ADAPT THE EXPERIENCE DEPENDING ON THE AGE AND DEVELOPMENT OF OLDER SIBLINGS…EVEN TEEN-AGE KIDS

~ PRESENT THE “NEW ARRIVAL” FROM CHILD’S POINT OF VIEW

1. DON’T WANT TO SAY “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER OR SISTER FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH” WOULD BE LIKE A HUSBAND TELLING HIS WIFE

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A NEW, YOUNGER WIFE TO KEEP YOU COMPANY AND TO HELP YOU AROUND THE HOUSE!”

2. INSTEAD: TRY TO CREATE AN INTEREST IN BABIES

~VISIT SOMEONE WHO HAS AN INFANT

~ READ BOOKS ABOUT NEW BABIES

~ PREPARATION FOR MOM BEING AWAY (ESPECIALLY IF CHILD HAS NOT BEEN AWAY FROM MOM BEFORE)

1. ATTEND SIBLING PREPARATION CLASSES AND VISIT THE HOSPITAL WITH YOUR CHILD

2. ORIENT CHILD TO HEARING YOUR VOICE ON THE PHONE

3. GIVE CHILD A PICTURE OF HERSELF AND HER MOM TO LOOK AT WHILE MOM IS AWAY

~ WHILE MOM IS AWAY:

1. FREQUENT CALLS HOME

2. KEEP CHILD’S 1ST VISIT TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE MOM AND NEW BABY FOR FAMILY ONLY

3. TEE SHIRT “I’M THE BIG SISTER OR BROTHER”

4. HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT FROM THE NEW BABY TO GIVE THE BIG SISTER

5. CHILD’S CARETAKER (FATHER OR CLOSE RELATIVE) SHOULD STAY THE SAME WHILE MOM IS GONE FOR ADDED STABILITY AND REASSURANCE

6. HAVE SIBLING COME WITH DADDY WHEN IT IS TIME TO TAKE MOM AND THE NEW BABY HOME

~ AFTER BABY IS HOME:

1. KEEP SIBLING’S ROUTINE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE - INCLUDING SETTING LIMITS

2. SCHEDULE “ALONE TIME” TO SPEND ONLY WITH SIBLING

3. WHEN BUSY WITH NEW BABY AND AREN’T ABLE TO IMMEDIATELY ATTEND TO CHILD’S NEEDS, SAY “MY HANDS ARE BUSY RIGHT NOW, BUT I WILL HELP YOU AS SOON AS I AM FINISHED”…LESS UPSETTING THAN TO SAY “I’M TOO BUSY WITH THE BABY AND YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT”

4. EXPECT CHILD TO REGRESS –ESPECIALLY WITH TOILET TRAINING, SLEEPING AND APPETITE

5. EXPECT SOME NEGATIVE REACTIONS TOWARDS THE NEW BABY, LET THE CHILD KNOW THAT’ IT’S OK TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS, AND HELP THEM WORK THROUGH THEIR FEELINGS IN AGE APPROPRIATE WAYS