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Domestic Violence Laws: Time for Reform?

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Posted: 6:13 PM Jul 17, 2008
Last Updated: 3:35 PM Jul 18, 2008
Reporter: D'Arcy Robb
Email Address: darcy.robb@wsaz.com

32 comments

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CHARLESTON, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- The recent killing of a young mother at the Patrick Street Taco Bell has many people in the Kanawha Valley asking tough questions about our current domestic violence laws.

The man accused of shooting Nalisha Gravely is Desmond Clark, the father of her young son. Family and police say Clark had a history of domestic violence against Nalisha.

Local domestic violence counselor Elizabeth Crawford says victims like Nalisha are not being served by the system. Crawford says many existing programs are not sensitive to victims from different ethnic backgrounds and are not helpful to male victims of violence. She also says the existing national laws don't do a good job protecting victims and are in need of an overhaul.

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Comments are posted from viewers like you and do not always reflect the views of this station.

Posted by: Kelly on Jul 28, 2008 at 02:10 PM
I monitor articles across the country on domestic violence as part of my job. Normally there are 1 or 2 responses to the articles, but I think it is wonderful to find so many people discussing it. Domestic violence is complex as many of you have pointed out with no easy solution, but we can get there one reform at a time. I hope many of you will take your passionate words to the public and create the necessary changes to end domestic violence in Kanawha Valley.

Posted by: Concern on Jul 22, 2008 at 02:54 PM
Seems to me that nothing has changed in the past 40-50 years. Besides we now have Shelters for Women and Children to go to. Men are still killing their Partners every day. I think one reason that women often do not report these crimes, is that it does no good. Men are paying no attention to protective orders and going after them anyway,authorities offer little of no protection. In some cases the Wide or Girlfriend is blamed for the abuse. People wonder why they don't just leave them, well unless you have been there, you wouldn't understand. I was beat up as a kid by my Dad, physical, mental and sexual abuse. I was terrifed all the time. When someone will kill you and you know this, you stay because for the moment you are still alive. After I left home and grew up, I swore that no-one would ever hurt me again. Living in fear is no life, you might as well be dead.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 21, 2008 at 01:48 PM
yeah its pretty sad that a woman had to lose her life before the state sits back and says hmm maybe we should fix this. The Domestic Violence laws have needed reformed for years now, but if its not happening to people in office, it won't change.

Posted by: Bob on Jul 21, 2008 at 01:27 AM
Time for reform? Sounds like a good idea and would be good. But is or has our area ever been known for reform or anything? We really are not known as trend setters here. We are stuck in the 1930's. Everyone keeps saying why don’t the police do more? Well last I checked the guy who started this was arrested each time it was reported. After someone is arrested the police are done with their part and its in the hands of the courts. Seems like it’s the courts that are not doing their jobs. I would think police officers would get sick and tired of dealing with these people and would like to see them spend a little time in jail. No more person to deal with in public then that’s no more of a problem. Bottom line is this will all come up and they will come up with some “odd” reason to raise taxes to help this agenda. Then after they do get money to set something up thats bogus it will be so messed up and wont work they will have another reason to suck more money out of the tax payers pocket

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 20, 2008 at 10:28 PM
hey anonymous at 12:04 just beat the crap out of the woman and she will leave you alone. You can only run for so long and 18 years is long enough don't ya think. There's records of you filing your DVP's so more than likely no charges will be filed for you defending yourself. good luck

Posted by: an ex abused woman on Jul 20, 2008 at 09:31 PM
For nearly 16 years I too was an abused woman.I lived daily in fear. I was told repeatedly to get out. But I didnt know where to go. I wasnt working at the time which is a control tactic used by most abusers. Finally in 2004 I decided it was time no matter what. I had to for my childrens life and mine.I immediately filed for a Civil Protection order but it was as worthless as the ink it was written in. He ws arrested approx. 7 times for beaking the order but never once was he convicted. The excuse was always lack of evidence. One time when the police arrived my ex was literally standing in my yard which the order stated he was not to be 500 feet near me. Needless to say to when itwent to court it was thrown out for lack of evidence. How much eveidence do they need. He ran me over with a car right in front of the sheriffs department. I was not aloud to mention to the jury I had a protection order against him. Why does a woman have to be killed or harmed before they "HAVE ENOUGH EVIDENC"

Posted by: Capitol Punishment on Jul 20, 2008 at 08:50 PM
needs to return to stop all this useless gun violence. Get rid of the lawyers while you make this reform and get back to an eye for an eye as ancient law prescribed.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 20, 2008 at 10:32 AM
I agree with KIM! also, WV DOES HAVE A SELF DEFENSE LAW. use it.... what to do about women who go back and back, well they need mental help...They go back because they want to...some say they are scared, some say he wont leave me alone., Well those are excuses.. I think they go back because they want to. They go back because it is the easiest thing to do..... I KNOW, I use to be an abused wife..I didn't have children.. BUT I put up with it because I did not want to change myself.I was scared of what to do next and how to move on, Hoping he loved me enough to stop. Apparently I was more scared of that than him, most all are.. until one day I woke up... ALL WOMEN NEED TO WAKE UP!!! This is a very hard problem to deal with and try to solve. Must do not have the self confidence to improve their life nor do they care about themselves or children if they have any. If a woman is abused and goes back and she has kids, she should be charged with child endangerment... REALLY!!

Posted by: raven on Jul 19, 2008 at 03:40 PM
My thoughts and Prayers to the Family and Friends of this Poor innocent woman. Im truly sorry another Murder was alowed to run free and hunt down and kill a Woman of your stature serving the Goverment Of The United States Its time we took the law in our hands as allowed by the Constitution of the Sate Of West Virginia. If the People we appointed Refuse to prefom their duties then its time the are removed from office. Please contact your Senators Congress Person Governor and Attorney General Demand the So Called Peace Keepers to do thier jobs we are paying them for.ENFORCE THE LAWS The Constitution Reads 9-4. Malfeasance and misfeasance in office. The presidents of the county courts, the justices of the peace, sheriffs, prosecuting attorneys, clerks of the circuit and of the county courts, and all other county officers shall be subject to indictment for malfeasance, misfeasance, or neglect of official duty and upon conviction thereof, their office shall become vacant.

Posted by: been there, done that. on Jul 19, 2008 at 03:16 PM
one of the reasons abused women go back to the abuser is the abuser is not sentenced to any jail time and he will find her and use charm or force to get her to come back to the relationship. if he were in jail then they both would have time apart and maybe think that they were better off out of the relationship. abuser and the abused need time apart to think what is best for them. i had two sisters that were murdered by my one sister's live in boy friend seven years ago. worst phone call of my life. please leave if you are being abused. you might be risking more than just your own life. my sister owned her home and wanted him to leave but he would not. please be very careful if you do decide to leave an abuser because that is the most dangerous time. take care.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 19, 2008 at 01:31 PM
I have been trapped with an abuser for 17 years. Lived in Huntington, so I got him out of the house and went to the shelter hoping they could help. They were totally cold and uncaring. Then, I move to Ashland and it isn't much better here. Basically no help. I'm older, have a lot of health issues and they just tell me there isn't much they can do. Guess I stay till one of us dies. I just hope that something gets done so others don't end up spending their later years as I'm having to.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 19, 2008 at 02:31 AM
Yes something needs to be done. I was 15 years old and was beat almost to death by a boyfriend and when I had ENOUGH, I pressed charges. He tore my moms house up and that man didnt spend one day in jail. I still have problems when it comes to relationships. What ever happened to the three strikes you are out law? Its going to be funny when the tables turn and the abused starts to take matters in their own hands. Justice has failed me too many times. I lost my childhood over this mess. I didnt have anyone to turn to. I was a kid sleeping with knives under my bed thinking the next time he breaks in, it was going to be me or him in a body bag. The family of that young girl from Charleston needs alot of questions answered. She didnt have to die.

Posted by: been there on Jul 18, 2008 at 11:00 PM
You can not get help if the abuser is known or part of the system, I have been removed from my home, not the abusers, with marks because the abuser is known or part of the system. That is scary... especially when there are children involved... the domestic violence shelters and groups make is hard on the victims. Shelter for 30 days is not enough....and if you are an employed victim; forget any help... been there...

Posted by: Amy on Jul 18, 2008 at 01:14 PM
Great idea, Kim. Hadn't even thought of that. Personally, I think the entire family law systme needs changed, starting w/ the salaries of the Family Court "judges". They are paid wayyyyyyyy tooooo much $, for the "service" given. If the salaries are cut drastically, then I believe that we will see more caring judges. They will be known because we wouldn't be able to say, 'Well, they just got that job for the $.' People who are truly seeking to assist families will take a lesser paying position because $ shouldn't be a motive in FAMILY law. And, as far as child support goes, I'm not even gonna go there.

Posted by: anon on Jul 18, 2008 at 01:05 PM
I have a cousin going through this. She choose to put up with it until he struck against her son. Something needs to be done. WOMEN DESERVE RESPECT.....

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 18, 2008 at 12:04 PM
I have filed D.V.P. on my fathers sons wife several times. This has been going on for 18 years. And nothing has been done. I am very scared for my life, because she has told several people that she wanted me died. She calls my home phone all hours of the night leaving my messages all the time. Can't go anywhere that she isn't there. So i stay home most of the time. Have try to get stalking on her but the system will not help me. We need to have D.V.P and the stalking laws reviewed big time.

Posted by: Kelly Mullens on Jul 18, 2008 at 11:10 AM
I agree something needs to be done about the domestic violence laws but how about when the victim keeps returning to the arms of her/his abuser, then what?

Posted by: John on Jul 18, 2008 at 10:33 AM
When are the mamby pamby counselors and shelter workers going to wake up and realize that a piece of paper or some order from a geriatric judge is impotent to stop the abusers? They say hat people do not take these situations seriously. It is hard to take it serioously when tose who are abused do not take it seriously. They keep going back to the abuser. You can give any excuse for this you want. It does not hold true. If you touch something ho you get burned, you don't touch it again. If you get beat up do not go back. When these women take it seriously, the rest of society will to. The only 100% proven effecive way to stop an abuser is to kill them. There has never been a case where an abuser was killed, that they abused again. Shoot them in self defense. The judges and cops are impotent to stop crime. In many areas in WV they are related to the abuser or depend on their family for re-elecion votes. Don't dial 911. Dial .357 magnum.

Posted by: Kathy S on Jul 18, 2008 at 09:40 AM
I'll sign the petition too so I agree - where is it? We women are still treated like we're men's "property" by the law(s) in this State & country. Well we're not. Children aren't "property" either. A lot of cops have always looked the "other way" when it comes to this - the guy goes "well, you know how it is, gotta smack her around a little, keep her in line". We women DO know "how it is" & it's WRONG people! The biggest thing though is that a LOT of times the woman won't follow through/press chgs or appear in court if the cops DO arrest the creep. They won't because they're either too AFRAID (because abuse of any kind traumatizes one to the point you're immobile from fear, I KNOW) OR after thinks cool off, he swears he "will never do it again". They DO. She'll take him back, drop chgs & end up dying more than likely, at HIS hands sooner or later or one of her kids will or both. They're GOOD at convincing you they'll change. They WON'T. Just like child molestors

Posted by: Billy on Jul 18, 2008 at 09:24 AM
I agree I know guys who have been victims and have had a tough time getting any help and it's sad when there are judges out there that will believe the abuser and it has to come to that person almost getting killed for the judge to realize that the guy isn't just making it up.

Posted by: Something should be done. on Jul 18, 2008 at 09:13 AM
I agree the laws should be more strict. I have been a victim of domestic violence and as for it being repetitive, some women are reluctant to report it because men are arrested and then released immediately after arrest. You know when they are released where is the first place they are coming to. As for a DVP I have heard men say that it is just a paper to them. It is a joke to police. They don't care about it and are not in any hurry to enforce it. Domestic violence is only a misdemeanor and the sentence is not tough enough to even worry about it.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 18, 2008 at 09:00 AM
I think that Kim has a good idea, it should be pretty much like the sex offenders list. Of course there are loopholes that need to be fixed with the sex offenders registry. But it would give the woman a piece of mind knowing where the abuser lived. It would also give women and men access to people that do abuse so they can end or avoid a relationship with someone who has a prior record of abuse.

Posted by: kim on Jul 18, 2008 at 06:22 AM
I think the law should include notifing the victim when the abuser moves/ changes jobs ect. It should be much like the sex offenders, they should have to register and it become public knowledge. My children and myself are the victims of domestic violence and have an order of protection and I do not know and would never know if my abuser would to move in next door to me. It would be nice to know where our abuser lives- especially BEFORE I let my children out to play. If the abusers had to register and knows it will be published- maybe there would be a drop in domestic violence- no one wants to be around someone who abusers their wife and children. Just a thought that I would like to see put into action.

Posted by: well on Jul 18, 2008 at 12:10 AM
Its about time something is done,to late for some,but gotta think about the future miss gravelys.

Posted by: michelle on Jul 17, 2008 at 11:27 PM
to victim i know how that goes when my ex broke in my house and beat the crap out of me. they said that the only way they could take him to jail was if he was "cought" there. so they actually had to see him there before they would do anything. To me thats BS.

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 17, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Not so much a overhaul as just the PD actually helping the victim.

Posted by: mad on Jul 17, 2008 at 09:59 PM
Being a woman who has gone through this kind of thing the laws have not changed very much and more to be done. I have also noticed that there is very for men who go's through men who has the same thing. It is taken more as a joke and they have a hard time finding someone or some place to go

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 17, 2008 at 09:57 PM
Where's the petition? I'll sign it.

Posted by: concerned on Jul 17, 2008 at 08:24 PM
I agree. I have been in the court room with a judge who refuses to put a stop to my ex-husband's outrageous behavior and threats too many times to believe our judicial system is effective.

Posted by: victim on Jul 17, 2008 at 07:22 PM
i have a domestic protection order now, and my ex keeps calling and etc, when you call the police they dont do nothing, they need get enforce the law striclty, to help us woman

Posted by: RAVEN on Jul 17, 2008 at 07:10 PM
Yes its time to change the laws. But first we need to VOTE OUT those who do not and will enforce the laws we now have.How can we become a law abiding society when the officers are not showing up in court the judges are not throwing the book at repeat offenders the prosecutors are not representing the victims after all is this not what they are payed to do.I know there are good officers out there that preform their duty daily and put their lives on the line for us but it only takes a few bad apples to screw up the system.Lets not forget that the victims need to be made to show up for trial and testify against their abuser or face charges themselves.If it were in the law books they wouldnt have a choice.Right now all the wheels need to be greased in order for justice to be served. Until all the wheels are on the same side we will continue to see the unfortunate abuse and deaths continue.The prosecutors and judges need to stop making deals with the repeat abuser.START ENFORCING THE LAW NOW

Posted by: Ben There on Jul 17, 2008 at 06:51 PM
I agree with this article. Something needs to be done with the domestic violence laws and the protection and help that is available to the victims whether male or female. Not only have I experienced first hand domestic violence but have people close to me who are experiencing the laws and protection (or lack there of) now. But what? Yes! lock up the ones who habitually abuse, but what about the ones who abuse mentally or verbally. Although you tape them you can hardly prove what is happening all the time. Runaway! What if they stalk? It's just not that easy to change your life. Psychopath is psychopath, and sociopath is sociopath, sometimes there are just no good answers. Someone really needs to find some good answers for us. We are losing more good people everyday to domestic violence, this is just getting way out of hand. RIP Gina and Nalisha

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